Tone. It. Down.

Before I get to the meat of the message, I suppose I have to provide some context. I’m not a Trump supporter. I’ve been publicly vocal all along that he’s unfit for office and a danger to the republic. I’m not a Hillary fan. I believe that more government is in most cases the problem, and not the solution.

I’m also not going to spend time on the shortcomings of Hillary that led to her loss. I will say it’s clear that she had real problems when the vote now shows that she couldn’t match Obama’s 2012 results among women or minorities, even against Trump. A candidate as unqualified as Trump couldn’t keep conservatives that were troubled by his temperament and misogyny (so much so that they apparently hid their support from the pollsters) from coming out to vote for him in droves, and I believe it was in response to what I really want to talk about.

We’re all collectively responsible for a Trump presidency because of the nature of our rhetoric. Yes, this was a rejection of the establishment, but Trump voters rejected a Republican establishment that seemed to only react to the arguments of the left rather than put forward ideas that would help them directly. Trump’s ideas ranged from unrealistic to insane, but they were ideas this newly disenfranchised group at least felt were designed to put them first for a change, rather than just compromises meant to placate the other side.

Rational or not, based in reality or not, this is the sign of a community that’s not being listened to or engaged in meaningful conversation. They’re “flown over” and mocked. What I saw in the last 18 months was name-calling (on both sides) instead of seeking understanding.

• On immigration, Trump voters are afraid of losing their jobs or culture to immigrants, and feel like their taxes are supporting people they perceive as cheaters. Is there racism in this country? Yes, there is some. Is our new president a racist? Probably. Calling all of them racists or xenophobes is not a winning strategy.
• On abortion, Trump voters honestly believe that abortion of almost any kind is murder. For them, preventing murder IS more important than protecting a woman’s choice. Calling all of them misogynists or science-deniers is not a winning strategy.
• On terrorism, Trump voters don’t see the tactics of this administration working, and see the horrors that used to be limited to the Middle East reaching our shores. Calling them all racists or Islamophobes is not winning strategy.
• On religious freedom, Trump voters see an increasingly secular country casting their faith as the source of our country’s problems, when they’ve always seen it as a solution. Calling them all backwards for wanting to practice their religion is not a winning strategy.

As I said, this goes both ways…

• On the discussion of Obamacare soon to be revived, calling all of its supporters Marxists will not be a winning strategy.
• On the continuing pursuit of gay rights, calling homosexuals sinners will not be a winning strategy.
• On the environment, calling those that want to pursue renewable energy tree-hugging lunatics will not be a winning strategy.

We’ve now seen that calling people that have different values and priorities than you do “deplorables” only energizes them to get the polls.

We have to hear and understand these fears. Don’t just tell them they shouldn’t be afraid. Acknowledge the pain and fear, ignore the hate if it exists, and work the issue based on facts that aren’t spun in order to win the argument. Now, paint a picture together of a path forward that alleviates the fear — a path that’s based on learning from our shared past as well as accounting for the present circumstances.

Salena Zito of The Atlantic wrote six weeks ago what may now be seen as the most insightful line from the press in the last months before the election:

“The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally.”

Those that elected him ignored the lurid or offensive details that the press and the left latched onto. They only cared that he said he’d be on their side while they tried to live in a society that seemed determined to denigrate, threaten, and call them names rather than listen to their fears.

So… What will our common cause be that unites us? Perhaps cleaning up Washington? Trump was elected largely as a stick with which to smash the system. Can we work together to minimize the damage Trump may do by being an example to him and to the rest of our government that we can actually have a civil discussion and reach compromises that show we’re trying to address everyone’s concerns and not just the “winning” side’s?